3.01.2010

Oscar Night Hierarchy


If you really want to gage your status in Los Angeles, Oscar night is the perfect way to do it. To celebrate the Academy Awards this month, I have provided a handy list to let you know exactly where you stand in this town, based on where you are when you watch the Oscars.

#7 Watching it alone with a pint of Haagen Dazs

#6 Watching with friends or family.

#5 Watching at an Oscar party run by straight people

#4 Watching from an elaborate Oscar party, hosted by gay dudes

#3 Watching from a star-studded party, filled with drunk and angry B-listers

#2 Watching from wherever, and scoring an invite to the Vanity Fair post-show party

#1 You're at the Academy Awards


I started as a #7, but have social climbed to #4...and counting.