11.11.2012

Review: Bad Evidence


People say that being married in L.A. is like dog years compared to the rest of the country. While New York swarms with unattainable supermodels, wives in L.A. contend with attainable girls, who are chestier than their supermodel counterparts, shorter than models so that the men feel bigger, and so insecure from financial instability and bad auditions that they throw themselves at anyone who flatters them and drives a Range Rover. 

That's why Angelenos should see Bad Evidence, playing at The Elephant Theatre in Hollywood. If we thought we were bring tested here in the Porn Capitol of the World,  you should see the mess these New Yorkers get themselves into. I left the theatre both relieved and uncomfortable. Relieved that it was only a dream, and uncomfortable because the characters surge dangerously close to territory that married couples steer far from. When actress Glory Simon confronts her spouse about an affair, or even an attraction that may lead to an affair, you wish she hadn't asked. The air is electrified and they're both so vulnerable. You hold your breath and hope he will lie. Lying is the nice thing to do.

The play has the domestic sparring of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and the antics of Laguna Beach.  A couple of standout performances include Justin Sintic, who was somehow able to break away from the script in which all characters speak exactly the same. He took the role of Kevin and made it his own; a hard-boozing, aggressive Wall Street type. Ryan Fox delivers an empathetic performance that makes one wish he were given a bigger role. Though he's caught red-handed with the wrong woman minutes after we're introduced to him, the audience roots for him. He looks torn when she grinds against him, almost uncomfortable. It humanized him, so in response the audience hoped he would emerge with his political career and marriage intact. His subtlety also helped reel in actors that seemed too over-the-top for the small space. His sense of moral gravity reconnected his castmates to the events happening on stage.

Angelenos, you should see this play not only for entertainment, but to feel better about your own relationships.  I'm a firm believer in schadenfreude. After all, this is a town where Angelina runs rampant kissing her brother, humping on mentally ill senior citizens, drinking blood and stealing the Lord of the Douches from his perfectly good wife. A land where men tint their eyelashes and a geriatric Playboy magnate enjoys ice cream in bed with teens. We need all the help we can get.


11.07.2012

sLAB cITY pROM!



slab city carol
in the throes of freebird

the slab city lothario, and  his "temple" is an old miltary base septic tank

10.31.2012

Los Angeles Haunted Hayride - a MUST!

pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes
Last year I realized that some of the good old-fashioned pleasures from the East Coast are alive and well in Los Angeles. Hayrides for instance. Haunted hayrides were one of my favorite pastimes; being out in nature, the nip in the air, and the smell of woodsmoke and fear.

horse skeleton carousel

I was at first reluctant to shell out $25 for the hayride, but it was worth every penny. I'd have paid double. Off-roading through the mountains of Griffith Park and sidling up to gruesome Hollywood-grade scenes in the woods is unforgettable. Lit Christmas trees topped with decapitated heads greeted us as Silent Night played softly in the background. Circus tents were filled with maniacal clowns. Rednecks in cabins, licking their chops and calling us "fresh meat" as we rolled past. 

The Haunted Hayride was tricked out with perks that make you want to stay all night. A house of mirrors, horse skeleton carousel, costumed characters on stilts, haunted maze, a sideshow, spiced apple cider and pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes.
 
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, LOS ANGELES!

Happy Halloween Los Angeles!

If there are three things I can guarantee about Halloween in Los Angeles:
- girls wearing corsets, tutus and thigh-highs, claiming to be anything from a referee ("My corset is striped, duh!") to the devil ("My corset is red, duh!")
- Me pretending to live in a world where referees wear corsets
- Amazing parties
- Bulimics stashing bite-sized goodies in their purse for later
- Great costumes  
 
 Enjoy photos from last year's festivities!

Michael Jackson (with a white hand), me as Snooki, and Curt & Courtney
party in the hills

the city glitters below

abusive spread!
Corey Howe wins for Most Clever Costume - making a mockery of girls who feel as if EVERY costume must be slutty
 Cute couple alerts!

Top Gun's Maverick and Kelly McGillis
Red Riding Hood & Big Bad Wolf
Hugh Hefner & Playmate

Katy Perry &......Katy Perry

10.29.2012

Do you suffer from Political Correctness? Heal thyself with Frog Island!


Well it's about time people in Los Angeles are cured of their political correctness. All that useless guilt made it hard to crack a joke around here. I don't know if it was 9/11 or the nationwide movement to try and replace the word "black" with "African American" while still being called "white," but our stooped, apologetic selves were highly unattractive. But the other day, I saw people spilling out of Pantages Theatre after seeing Book of Mormon. They were blissful. Among the cackles I heard, "It was so wrong, I loved it!" and "Ha! AIDS jokes, can you believe it?!"

Now that we've lightened up, it's time to celebrate. No, you won't get tickets to Book of Mormon. Trust me. It's time Frog Island got the limelight. This troupe has been abusing me for years, and I've loved every minute of it! Tomorrow, Oct 30th at 10/9 central, the Viral Video Showdown on the Syfy Channel begins its run, and guess what happens a few episodes into the season? Frog Island will descend upon the masses!


They were chosen for good reason. To Frog Island, nothing is sacred. Laughing at ourselves is the only way to stop us from taking everything so seriously, and they are happy to help. A Hasidic Jew pimp promoting Morrie's Discount Ho's, racist cops that jump for joy when a Rodney King hologram appears and a Slave Hair infomercial. Although nothing beats their Pacino & Pacino talent series.

Check them out on the SyFy Channel tomorrow night, and prepare to be abused!


10.21.2012

Is the Victorian Rose B&B haunted?


Nona and Richard have a good thing going. They packed up and left L.A. to make their Ventura bed and breakfast, The Victorian Rose, an unforgettable experience for Angelenos and other travelers. 
It was once a wedding chapel in the 1800's. With vaulted ceilings, stained glass windows from Germany and a pipe organ, it was inevitable that people would claim the place is haunted. It didn't deter me, (quite the opposite, in fact) although I discovered countless websites claiming someone had fallen off the choir balcony to their death, after which strange things took place.

bedroom in the old choir loft
the old choir balcony, overlooking the bed and breakfast
Then again, those websites are rife with typos, which made it all seem less credible. I wasn't about to give up bedrock waterfall showers, wine and cheese at 5 pm and an elaborate breakfast on fine china. Then I spoke to Nona and Richard, and they confirmed that someone did indeed fall of the choir balcony (creepy!) and it was a child (creepier!) - not to mention that the Travel Channel covered the place in Haunted Hotels. Thankfully, the kid lived. And this place is a true landmark!

view from the choir balcony
angels watching over you, literally
choir balcony from main room
the showers
my friends John Will and Ariana Drehsler
the main room
wine and cheese the night before