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| Crazy Lisa - breaking hearts and iPhones! |
One of the advantages to living in L.A.and
not New York is the lack of models. Sure, there are beautiful women everywhere, but they're short. When I was invited to a party for
America's Next Top Model, there was no hiding how much shorter and pudgier I was. I was a bowling ball amongst bowling pins.
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| pushing her signature fragrance |
So naturally, I looked for flaws in all of them. Cameras were rolling as
America's Next Top Model All-Stars tried to out-pitch one another with a signature fragrance created just for them. They were awash in pearly mineral make-up and bleached teeth, smiling and glowing. Only one girl would be chosen for a signature fragrance deal, based on our feedback.
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| pushing Sensual |
The girls stood in bathtubs, beckoning us to try their signature fragrances. Men ate it up as lotion was rubbed into their hands. Some of the men believed that the women were really into them; and not trying to secure their shaky financial future. They got into the bathtubs with the girls. You could see the annoyance on their faces, as stage make-up slid off into the cold water. But the cameras rolled and they gritted their teeth, smiling through their anger.
There was one model who did make me feel better about myself -
Lisa D'Amato. That's because she was absolutely
out of her mind. We loved her - she was like the Courtney Love of the models. The
wild one. She's notorious for peeing in an adult diaper on the show and joining
Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. She was pushing her signature
Neon fragrance. Instead of pandering to men with some demure eyelash-batting, she whooped and hollered, telling everyone that they needed to loosen up and have fun. When people got too close, she kicked her bathtub water, splashing passersby and squealing. Getting splashed with water isn't as whimsical and fun as it was back in the day, since Angelenos are tethered to pricey electronic devices.
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| with Aussie actor Glenn Millanta |
I think she was drunk. My friends and I cheered her on, of course. The other models rolled their eyes, as a crowd gathered away from them and lights shone onto Lisa. If a camera happened to swing in their direction, they switched to a pageant smile and said, "Oh, that Lisa. She's a
free spirit." Top Model host Nigel Barker gave her a little talking-to, but behind his back, we were telling her not to listen. We told her to push Tyra into a tub if she showed up, convincing her
it would make her a hero. Which it would, of course.
I liked Lisa. Sure, she was pushing her
Neon party girl gimmick just as much as the others pushed their
Ambition, or
Sensual fragrance idea. But she was fun, and not such a man-pleaser.
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| goofing off on location at the Roosevelt |
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| waiting for the valet |
