Lazy Ox Canteen - The Emperor's New Restaurant

Remember how 80's movies parodied the gourmet restaurant boon? In L.A. Story, a new French cafe named L'Idiot served microscopic bites on giant plates, and everyone continued the charade in order to appear refined. That was my experience at Lazy Ox Canteen.

Plate after plate arrived at our table with scant, mediocre-flavored nibbles. We had already dropped $40 on dishes that didn't make the equivalent of one appetizer, and we were hungry. Realizing we'd have to spend a few hundred just to stop the grumbling in our bellies, we bit the $40 tab. Throwing down our cash, we walked out  and down the street to King Taco.

For the record, I adore small plate restaurants. You can experience more flavors and share with your friends. But Lazy Ox Canteen doesn't hold a candle to the diverse fun of Susan Feniger's Street or the gourmet seriousness of Mario Batali's Mozza. Both Mozza and Street offer better quality and fairer portions, and their chefs have a lot more hype than Ox's Josef Centeno. So let's throw ego out the window and be a little less stingy with portions. Lazy Ox is taking advantage of the downtown L.A. renaissance and all the proud but clueless yuppie/hipster hybrids whom are new to the area. A downtown address and industrial interior does not a restaurant make. Sooner or later, they will catch on.

The whole world on one table

Susan Feniger is officially the toast of the town, and not because she's on Top Chef Masters. Her now-famous restaurant Street showcases street food from around the world. Those who can't decide between Indian, Japanese or Russian now needn't have to. What's more, is that her street food comes out in tapas-style servings so everyone can try a piece.

L.A. Weekly's food critic Jonathan Gold (a.k.a. the guy with the coolest job in the world) calls it a "...hypercool, essential L.A. restaurant."

Even The New York Times caught wind of the phenomenon; "Sampling the wares of international street food vendors is sometimes not for the faint of heart or stomach. Susan Feniger's Street, the celebrated chef's first solo venture, serves up the exotic without the risk."

The Los Angeles Times encourages you to "Go ahead. Take a walk on the wild side."

I am not even taking into account all the raving going on in Gourmet magazine and countless T.V. features. I had had enough. It was high time I tasted the goods or consider myself white trash. I tend to set goals for myself to avoid looking at myself as white trash, such as seeing Europe. Thank goodness I crossed that off the list - being the only person in the circles I run in to not see Europe troubled me until my honeymoon at 30.

Dining at Street was next on my list of things to do to avoid being a rube. I ended up going two nights in a row. There were so many outlandish flavors and textures to conquer, I figured the tiny restaurant would still need a kitchen the size of a gymnasium. The first night I was seduced by the curry-rich paani puri, the sweet Moscow eggplant and spicy gumbo. I had to go the second evening just to sample the other treats, like the Arabic lamb kafta balls (as good as my mother's) the Argentinian ricotta cakes and ono sashimi.

I may never go to Burma or Malaysia, but at least I can get a taste. This is a hub for those with adventurous palettes, the well-traveled, the risk-takers. For all you who haven't seen Europe of the Orient, this place will make you feel a whole lot better about it.