If it's not deep-fried, it's not a doughnut

The PB & J fonut - tasty!

Fonuts in West Hollywood is having their "moment" right now. Fueled by the hype of Thrillist and hipsters, crowds wipe out entire batches of Salted Caramel fonuts before lunch time.

What is a fonut? A faux doughnut, which is baked instead of fried. They used to be called Fauxnuts, but I guess that was hard for people. That makes sense, considering their clientele. Fonuts makes gluten-free options, and every gullible twit out there is convinced they are allergic to gluten. That's why THIS GUY is my hero.

I was excited to try their Chorizo Cheddar fonuts, but there was no sin in it. It wasn't spicy, cheesy or meaty. It was fluffy and yellow with red swirls. Their Maple Bacon fonut wasn't salty enough to counter the sweetness, and didn't hold a candle to Nickel Diner.

I thought I'd have better luck with the sweet doughnuts, and I did. The Banana Chocolate fonut was nice... like a muffin. That's the thing about fonuts. People get excited to try a healthy version of a doughnut, but it is not any version of a doughnut. They were baked goods pressed into a ring shape, like a bundt. Some were great, like the Peanut Butter and Jelly fonut. But it will never be like Pinkberry, who have successfully marketed themselves as a healthier version of a sinful, American classic.

Unfortunately for us, if it's not deep-fried, it's not a doughnut.

Best Doughnuts in L.A.

 

In college I worshipped at the altar of Krispy Kreme. Since moving to Los Angeles, I've been obsessed with the bacon maple glazed doughnuts at Nickel Diner.

But there's a new sheriff in town. Waterloo and City's Bourbon Glazed Doughnuts are so delicious, they're abusive. Everything you taste for days afterward will seem lackluster; almost wooden.

Words cannot describe it, but I will try. The glaze only has a slight hint of bourbon but is sticky sweet, slightly salty, and the crust has a microthin layer of crispiness. Once you bite in, the yielding, fluffy interior is piping hot and almost creamy. It comes with a side of bourbon glaze and white icing. But it needs neither of these. You can't mess with perfection.

Below, you'll see shots of other dishes we enjoyed at Waterloo and City. But if you walk away with anything, know that the doughnuts are never on the menu, but always available if you know to order them.

You're welcome.

Caesar, poached organic egg, dried prosciutto, anchovies

tuna tartare, fried piquillo pepper, avocado

oysters on rock salt

Whole roasted chicken with burning sage (see fire on top) and french fries

rotisserie lamb, crispy shepherd’s pie, sunchokes, gremolata

sticky toffee pudding, milk ice cream, salted caramel & French meringues

The Bacon Dessert Movement

Los Angeles may be known for stuffing avocado and alfalfa sprouts in everything and calling it "California Cuisine," but soon, we may be known as the land of bacon desserts.

I don't know who started it, but I know that the movement is growing. Nickel Diner, a vintage breakfast spot in downtown Los Angeles, started serving bacon maple glazed doughnuts, and the sidewalks have been packed with hungry hipsters ever since. Patrons such as Kim Burke made the pilgrimage all the way from Pacific Palisades to sample the goods, and she brought an entourage of seven. By the time they were seated, there were only 20 bacon maple glazed doughnuts left, and her table ordered a round and wrapped up the rest to go. The tattooed throngs on the sidewalk had yet to receive word that the famous menu item had just run out.

If a bacon maple glazed doughnut seems a safe route, other restaurants are experimenting with bacon and chocolate. Animal, the Fairfax district restaurant which serves as a haven for the carnivorous, offers a Bacon Chocolate Crunch Bar. Grubb, a down-home Hollywood establishment with ever-changing menus always has one dessert stand-by: the Hershey Bar Sandwich. The delectable concoction was made of bread, whipped cream and a Hershey bar, but keeping with the times, they have added bacon.

Restaurants that boast organic salads and fresh baked breads are now featuring menu items better suited for a state fair in the Midwest. But in these economic times, people seek escapism through calories and exotic experimentation, and it's really been helping restaurants bring home the bacon.