The Upfronts - another reason to love this town!

Outsiders say L.A. is summer all year round, but the longer you live here, the less subtle the season changes are. In fact, I don't even need to be outdoors to know that summer is coming, because I have THE UPFRONTS to remind me!

Ah, taking in Ron Perlman's intricate bone structure

Sorry about the all-caps, but upfronts get me all kinds of worked up! Though I'm not in New York to see the live broadcast, where all the networks reveal their shows and drag out their talent for the upcoming season, the party gets piped in live to L.A., and there is always celebrating! While you are wined and dined by the networks, you get a sneak peak at all the new shows before the public does.

Fresh mini doughnuts? Yes please!

I remember being the first to see Modern Family at ABC. They were so proud of their new gem, that we watched the entire episode, instead of just a snippet. The historic El Capitan Theatre was alight with laughter as we ate through buckets of free popcorn. Another one of my favorite things at the ABC upfronts is Jimmy Kimmel, who gets on stage and rips ABC and every other network to shreds. And we eat it all up, this abuse.

CBS, keepin' it real!

Time Warner hosts their Summertime is Cabletime parties, which are boozy, in the swankiest hotels and are always a blast. With more and more quality programming going to cable stations, they have a lot of leverage and film talent.

Time Warner party

But perhaps one of the most exciting upfronts is at CBS, where you wander around the set of The Price is Right, cocktails in hand. I got to spin the wheel. Does anything get better than that? Well, I suppose spinning the wheel on the live show and landing on that glittery 100 has to be pretty amazing. But would I want to be that winning contestant who still must leave all this glitz, in order to lug my new dining set back to Duluth, Minnestota?

"Whoa!" - it's Joey Lawrence!

 Upfronts are definitely the "love" part of my love/hate relationship with L.A..

No photo booth prop goes unnoticed!

Financial Plan B - Game Shows!

Blame it on the fanatics cluttered around the gates of CBS Studios, but I realized that living in Los Angeles is like sitting on a goldmine of potential funds - game shows!

Americans come in droves from all over the country on a cash pilgrimage that could change their lives, yet to most of us Angelenos, it never even crosses our minds. The Price is Right has a kitschy cult following, and if one demonstrates an unhinged enthusiasm, they have a better chance of getting in. Cameramen even slide by the awaiting lines, giving people their one chance to shine on tape. Desperate fans camp out overnight on the dicey sidewalks outside of CBS Studios. I see them every time I drive by. Families from Wisconsin don giant plastic hats made to look like cheese, Masons arrive in red hats with black silk tassels, and Jersey moms show up with perms and day-glo acrylic tips to match their fanny packs.

I tried getting in to The Price is Right, but my inability to rise at 4 am combined with a general lack of excitement bordering psychosis ruined my chances. If I came with an entourage of manics in matching ensembles, you bet I would have made it.

I'm pretty good at Trivial Pursuit, so I went after Trivial Pursuit America Plays, the television equivalent. Except that it's not. I've played every manner of Trivial Pursuit; the 20th Century Edition, the Genus Edition, I've played drunk, sober, and angry. But what's played on T.V. is not the same.

Every potential contestant goes through a screening process in which they're handed a questionnaire. Instead of asking questions about, say, American history, sports and film, more than half of the questions covered pseudo-celeb reality stars such as Kim Kardashian, and really bad T.V. shows such as Veronica's Closet and The Apprentice. It turns out that if you're not glued to the tube, and pre-dawn hours of the tube at that, you don't stand a chance. When our contestant "quizzes" were graded by the show's employees, they said to remain seated even if we hear our name called. They rattled off a long list. My name was called. When they finished, they said, "If your name was called, you are not qualified to play. Please leave the premises and have a nice day." Slowly, we rose. All of us who knew of botany and international food, music composers and geography did the walk of shame off the studio lot.

If sitting in front of the television all night while the world is happening all around me is the only way to score a few grand, then count me out. At least the show was honest about the type of content it covers: trivial. Now I wonder if Wheel of Fortune tapes in L.A....