You don't need to be from Chicago to see how hardcore they are about their hometown. Abusive relationships with their sports teams abound. Residents never leave The Windy City, and in the rare occasion they do, they wail about it the entire time. Before a warm Malibu sunset, you'll hear Chicagoans reminisce about shoveling out their driveways in sub-zero temperatures.
Where is the love in Los Angeles? Half the people here are transplants, and the only brotherhood we're known for are the Menendez brothers. Angelenos from the East Coast and San Francisco claim intellectual superiority based on geography. Half the time they can't back it up and the locals are sick of it.
In my inbox, I received a Chicago Friends vs. Regular Friends email. Like all things hyping Chi-town, it was prideful of their wholesome, "America's-Heartland-meets-the-big-city"quality.
It was time to take a stand.
This is Los Angeles, for goodness' sake. We have kickin' Mexican food, Topanga Canyon, open bar red carpet events and beach sunsets every night. Are we all really that miserable that we can't pull together? I made a Chicago Friends vs. Los Angeles Friends version, using all the same answers from the Windy City.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Always bring the food.
L.A. FRIENDS: Don't eat, so more for you!
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Cry with you.
L.A. FRIENDS: Always have Valium.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss.
L.A. FRIENDS: Never get slobber on your make-up - air kisses!
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
L.A. FRIENDS: Can recommend a great book agent.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Will spend the night in jail with you.
L.A. FRIENDS: Would call your publicist, pronto.
CHICAGO FRIENDS: Have your number memorized.
L.A. FRIENDS: Prefer Blackberries over rotary phones.