4.07.2015

Plastic Snow is Awesome

Oh, hello.
It's 101 degrees outside; so hot that the air ripples off the freeway. Yet somehow the building next to me is blanketed in snow, with icicles hanging off the Alpine lodge's roof. 

Oh, hello.
How is this possible? The snow is plastic. Why is this happening? Why it's Clearman's North Woods Inn! This landmark is popular with old-timers, who can still get a good steak and baked potato under watchful taxidermy. Stepping into this cavernous lodge is like stepping back into 1962, with three-martini lunches and red carpeting. 


This isn't the place for those pretending to have gluten allergies to hide their eating disorders. It's hearty food and they make no apologies for their signature garlic cheese spread. It's loaded with MSG and high-fructose corn syrup. How would I know? Patrons weren't satisfied with ordering basket after basket of their addictive cheesy bread. They wanted to experience it at home, so the restaurant sells their famous spread by the tubful, listing the politically-incorrect ingredients in boldface.


They can't be bothered with the fickleness of Angelenos. If you've got the cajones to hang the head of a majestic mountain goat on your wall, you are past the point of caring. There are a couple of locations, and I recommend going. It's a field trip into the past, which happens to serve delicious and honestly dishonest food.

How do doors like this not hold the promise of a good time inside?

Um, yes please!

this happened

plastic snow on a summer's day