10.28.2013

Crazies at the dog park

Not pictured: Pack of dogs left in the dust. Not that I'm bragging.

Maybe it's all the feces in the air, but what's with all the freaks at the dog park? Note to THIS PERSON

"You can love your pets, you just can't looooove your pets. Repeat after me: Us? Them. Us? Them."
- Janeane Garafalo

Oh, and two dogs does not a party make.

The dog park on Mulholland & Laurel Canyon hosts a cornucopia of people who should be avoided. These following things have happened to me:

~ A dog urinates on my leg. I am silent, my jaw dropped. The owner yells at me, "This is a dog park! What's your problem?!"

~ Janice Dickinson seeing one of my greyhounds and ordering me to make it run.  I told her she needed to hold my dog's collar and ask, "Where's Mommy? Where's Mommy?" as I run away. She did not like this, but did it anyway. My greyhound ran. I do not think she was impressed.

~ Iranian doctors who show up in scrubs (on purpose, to get chicks. Come to think of it, they may not be doctors at all!). They bring $300 remote control race cars for their dogs to chase. If my greyhounds are there, they beat out the pack, including their precious little one, (see above picture). I do not think they like it when I bring my dogs to the park.

~ Coyotes howling like banshees outside the fence at sunset. Well, okay they're supposed to do that. It's just that it sounds like background from Bram Stoker's Dracula.

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