For those in the prime of their youth traipsing around Los Angeles playing the field, I know how you feel. Darting in and out of Social and Dolce, you're still wrinkle-free and trendy on the outside, but harbor a dark secret. A fear is buried deep within you, nudging you with a question.
And the question is this: This is fun and all, but they aren't all like this, are they?
The sad news is, most of them are. But with a self-esteem a stitch above self-loathing and a health insurance plan to cover potential mental health issues, you'll be able to pull through with, well, something. In the meantime, don't waste years fretting over those self-involved manorexics and ego maniacs. If you cannot enjoy conversation, try to tap into some other joy they might have to offer. And for God's sake, use Return My Pants. They say it's a site for lenders and borrowers but I must say, it's a great tool for those who like to party.
For the guys you ditched early due to signs of sociopathic behavior or monologues breaking down the virtues of different energy bars, remember to be nice when exiting. Because life in the fast lane almost ensures that your treasured belongings will be scattered across town. For example:
~ You left your Happiness DVD at a studio exec's house while trying to impress him with your art-house knowledge.
~ You left your magic La Perla push-up at Xavier's place, because you found out he got chin implants and scurried out too so fast.
~ Your sequined dress came without pockets, so he held onto your broken necklace that night at The Magic Castle.
...the possibilities are endless. Remember to end it amicably, keep track of where you left what at Return My Pants and know that to get it back you'll have to at least pay for one cocktail. Or if he's particularly scary, coffee.
For the guys you ditched early due to signs of sociopathic behavior or monologues breaking down the virtues of different energy bars, remember to be nice when exiting. Because life in the fast lane almost ensures that your treasured belongings will be scattered across town. For example:
~ You left your Happiness DVD at a studio exec's house while trying to impress him with your art-house knowledge.
~ You left your magic La Perla push-up at Xavier's place, because you found out he got chin implants and scurried out too so fast.
~ Your sequined dress came without pockets, so he held onto your broken necklace that night at The Magic Castle.
...the possibilities are endless. Remember to end it amicably, keep track of where you left what at Return My Pants and know that to get it back you'll have to at least pay for one cocktail. Or if he's particularly scary, coffee.
