Crazies at the dog park

Not pictured: Pack of dogs left in the dust. Not that I'm bragging.

Maybe it's all the feces in the air, but what's with all the freaks at the dog park? Note to THIS PERSON: 

"You can love your pets, you just can't looooove your pets. Repeat after me: Us? Them. Us? Them."

- Janeane Garafalo

The Truth About Cats and Dogs

Oh, and two dogs does not a party make.

The dog park on Mulholland & Laurel Canyon hosts a cornucopia of people who should be avoided. These following things have happened to me:

~ A dog urinates on my leg. I am silent, my jaw dropped. The owner yells at me, "This is a dog park! What's your problem?!"

~ Janice Dickinson seeing one of my greyhounds and ordering me to make it run.  I told her she needed to hold my dog's collar and ask, "Where's Mommy? Where's Mommy?" as I run away. She did not like this, but did it anyway. My greyhound ran. I do not think she was impressed.

~ Iranian doctors who show up in scrubs (on purpose, to get chicks. Come to think of it, they may not be doctors at all!). They bring $300 remote control race cars for their dogs to chase. If my greyhounds are there, they beat out the pack, including their precious little one, (see above picture). I do not think they like it when I bring my dogs to the park.

~ Coyotes howling like banshees outside the fence at sunset. Well, okay they're supposed to do that. It's just that it sounds like background from Bram Stoker's Dracula.

It was all for Zach Braff!

I've always had a thing for Jewish boys, but Zach Braff is my favorite. He sealed the deal for me with Garden State. The mood and circumstances felt very familiar to me. It's because of this movie and my shameless adoration for him that I was convinced I needed to experience Medieval Times. Until Garden State, Medieval Times was just high school field trip I never took. Besides, I always thought the place thrived because men could get away with eating with their hands and calling women wenches.

Zach Braff

But seeing actor Jim Parsons clinking through his morning walk of shame in full body armor, (see this link: HILARIOUS) the whole idea struck me as bizarre. When Mark (played by Peter Skarsgaard) finds out the knight was sleeping with his mother, Carol:

Carol: Mark, he's a knight.
Mark: He's just a fast food knight.

It pops up again later in the script:

Sam: He's my knight in shining armor.
Andrew Largeman: Don't talk about knights around Mark, it's a sore subject.
Mark: I'm gonna kill that motherfucker.

Andrew Largeman: Pun intended? 

Imagine my surprise hearing the really bad British accents and seeing a bar that served Schnapps cocktails in "collectors" plastic cups with swirly straws. But I'm glad I went. As the beer poured and a thousand chickens were being decimated by bare hands, people screamed for the knights, waving their greasy hands in the air. The long-haired horsemen waved their hands to much fanfare, and you could tell they were so proud. They lived for it, they grew their hair out for it.

a knight in the dining room

While I'll probably never go again, I was so glad for the experience. The cheesy show was well-orchestrated, the enthusiasm was contagious and the food surprisingly tasty. And the next time (200th) I watch Garden State, it will feel all the more familiar. 

Abusive!

a Studio City med spa

 A hard-boiled egg-shaped toilet seat? Seriously?

The Garden of Oz

Word has it that the kids living nearby were given keys to visit whenever they pleased. Other sources say that random people also received keys, but without directions on how to find it. And that the Dalai Llama sent his monks there to bless the garden. No one who has ever been there will post the address online.

The Garden of Oz is hidden in the Hollywood Hills, and I was lucky enough to stumble upon it while hiking. It's a private residence, and the gate is locked at sundown. This community mosaic of found art has a guest book, a cooler full of drinks, a porta-potty, lounge chairs, and dining tables. It's an ethereal and hopeful place. Enjoy the photos!

the butler and Olivia

Carla Minard Winston under the crystal tree

winding stairs lead to various summits

guest book lounge

yellow brick road