The Great Lesbian Letdown

I was pretty excited to experience Panty Night at Girl Bar in West Hollywood. Bundles of new panties were to be tossed into the crowd. I thought that new undergarments might help me recoup the cost of my overpriced cocktails. In a perfect world I'd score something campy from Trashy Lingerie, but lesbians aren't known for Little Bo Peep-themed corsets.

Maybe I'd score something sensible. But who would toss Hanes into a West Hollywood crowd? When the disco (yes, disco) started, slender girls traipsed atop the bar in Halloween Slut cop gear. I was taken aback by how much the lesbian idea of sexy parallels the hetero male version. Not that I expected chicks to stomp out in overalls and toss out organic seed packs, but I was disappointed to know that the idea of sexy seemed to be the same across the board.

That's my Great Lesbian Letdown; it would seem that no matter what the sexual preference is, all women  are doomed to life without love (or at least sex) unless they commit to binding clothing, low-carb diets and stiletto heels. We can't catch a break, even at Girl Bar.

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